


The Old Door

by lambkind



Series: Who the heck keeps hiring this guy!? [7]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Undertale, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 12:33:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8800981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lambkind/pseuds/lambkind
Summary: Sans and Undyne talk about the one thing they have in common.





	

The woods were still and dim around the old door to the Ruins. Sans sat with his back against the cold metal of the door, head bent, cigarette hanging loosely from between his teeth. The tiny coil of smoke that drifted up from the tip was difficult to see against the backdrop of snow.

He let out a long, slow breath, then rapped his knuckles loudly against the door, and waited. Three seconds went by. Fifteen seconds. Forty seconds.

 _c'mon lady..._ he thought. But he didn't really expect an answer. It had been weeks since he'd heard from her. At this point she was just another data point, really. Here was the hypothesis: Getting invested was pointless.

A branch snapped nearby, and Sans looked up to see Undyne emerging from the forest. She looked startled to find him there, but quickly covered it up with a sneer.

" _Why_ does it still surprise me when you're not at your post?" she asked.

"beats me," said Sans.

"What are you even doing out here?" She eyed the door warily. "This place is so creepy..."

"scared?"

She looked immediately outraged. She stomped over to Sans and threw herself down next him, sitting with her back to the door.

"Hell no!" she snapped.

Sans laughed. "didn't think so."

Undyne gave him a sour look, then scanned the edge of the forest. She made a show of waving cigarette smoke out of her face.

"Would you put that thing out? It's disgusting."

"you could move."

"I'm proving a point here."

Chuckling, Sans pressed the tip of his cigarette into the snow, where it sizzled and went out.

"papyrus doesn't like it either," he said.

Undyne rolled her eyes. "I don't know how he puts up with you, honestly."

"heh. me neither. y'know one time i came back from grillby's... i'd been there like all day. he made me strip behind the house so he could hose me off. said he had to wash the 'unholy stench' off me before i could come inside."

Undyne snickered. "When I had him over for his first cooking lesson... I handed him the box of spaghetti, cause we were getting started. And he—" She broke off with a snort of laughter, then forced herself to continue. "He pulled out this big handful and just... takes a huge bite out of all this uncooked pasta. I just heard this _crunch_ behind me, and I turn around and... You could see the regret on his face, but he kept chewing, and he was like, 'Wow Undyne! This is so good!'"

They were both laughing now, the sound large and loud in the silence.

"what did you tell im?" asked Sans between giggles.

"Oh man..." Undyne ran her hand over her face. "I was just like... 'Well, that's _one_ way to eat it...' Hehe—! He were both trying so hard not to hurt the other one's feelings."

They grinned at each other, both thinking about Papyrus. But then the mood passed, and Undyne's expression turned serious.

"You know I can't let him into the Royal Guard."

"i know."

She seemed taken aback by his easy acceptance. "I can't!" she insisted. "He's just so... he's so damn..."

"i know," Sans repeated.

Undyne blew out a long, angry breath. "If anything ever happened to him I could never forgive myself." Sans said nothing to this, and after a minute, she went on. "Why does he even want to be in the Guard so bad?"

"dunno," said Sans. "he admires you."

Undyne snorted. "So, what? Is "Captain of the Guard" all I am to him?"

"you know that ain't true."

Undyne considered his words, biting her lip with her long fangs and glaring into the woods. Then she stood, and brushed the snow off the back of her armor.

"Well, guess I've unburdened myself enough for one afternoon." She started to walk away, then paused to turn back and give Sans a parting scowl.

"Quit slacking off!" she snapped, then trudged off into the woods.

Sans waved lazily after her, idly twirling his cigarette in the fingers of his other hand. How long would he have to wait for it to dry out before he could relight it?


End file.
